Trivia Teaser

Which word could mean the opposite of 'blase'?

Nonchalant
Mundane
Bored
Excited

Holy bloopers!

02
May
2013
 

By Christine Lovatt

Readers of Lovatts puzzle magazines often send in funny misprints from church bulletins. I suspect they’re written at the last minute. Maybe the parish priest or vicar is preparing his sermon and doesn’t have time to proofread the parish news. Here are some gems:

- Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.

- Save your aluminium cans, bottles, and other items for recycling. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

- For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

 

Church bloopers

 

- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

- The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

- The church doors will be open all day for private warship.

- Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

- The choir is short of sinners – please come forward if you can help make up the numbers.

Have you seen any bloopers  on your travels?

Happy puzzling!    

Christine Lovatt

28 Responses to

Holy bloopers!

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maggaz said:
May 02, 2013 at 3:29 PM

The sermon this morning "Jesus walks on water". The sermon tonight "Searching for Jesus".

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maggaz said:
May 02, 2013 at 3:31 PM

At the evening service tonight the sermon will be "What is Hell?". come early and listen to our choir

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3femmes said:
May 02, 2013 at 8:41 PM

Judging by the number of responses to date not too many puzzlers in church. No offense intended.

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tiggercat said:
May 03, 2013 at 9:13 AM

The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in

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May 03, 2013 at 10:01 AM

There are plenty of funny church bulletin notices, I guess it's just that not so many people read church bulletins these days. These are some that someone thought funny enough to put in an email: During the absence of our pastor we enjoyed the rare privelege of hearing a good sermon when J. F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.....Don't let worry kill you off, let the church help...The concert held in fellowship hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell on her....Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm. Please use large double doors at side entrance....Pot luck supper: prayer and medication to follow

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said:
May 03, 2013 at 3:27 PM

Our biggest family blooper has thankfully remained private (until now). My daughter has always worshipped her father (as is a girl's wont) and would love to watch football with him as he is a keen Sydney Roosters fan. One Saturday she was busy all afternoon in her room making a beautiful poster "Go the Roosters" to cheer on the team. Daddy arrived home and she proudly displayed her poster. Yep, you know which letter she missed... true story. My pumpkin was so-o embarrassed no one has ever mentioned it since... (Thank God for Youplay. I've been holding in that chuckle for 12 years)

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pdiaco said:
May 03, 2013 at 6:01 PM

Go the Rosters? What's funny about that :)?

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May 03, 2013 at 6:11 PM

It might have been the "s" that was missed. right?

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said:
May 03, 2013 at 6:41 PM

when parish priest puts notice in the bulletin ..only to have it already over

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Minxie said:
May 03, 2013 at 8:56 PM

... little girl's budgie died and she insisted on having a burial service in the garden. mom helped her wrap it in some kitchen towel and put it in a shoe box. dad did the digging and the gathered sombrely at the grave side. the little girl carefully put the box in saying with tears rolling down her cheeks .... "in the name of the father, the son, and into-the-hole-he-goes ..."

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said:
May 04, 2013 at 6:12 AM

Having aired my daughter's blooper, it's only fair that I do the same. In Grade 8 I wrote an entire Science report leaving the 'ni' out of organism/s... I honestly thought it was the right word... only realised my mistake when my girlfriend told me, AFTER I handed it in. Did you know that orga(ni)sms are most numerous in water, etc, etc, etc. Aagh, still makes me cringe.

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Croque47 said:
May 04, 2013 at 7:51 AM

Here's another. The preacher for next sunday can be seen hanging on the notice board

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falcon8 said:
May 04, 2013 at 11:13 AM

It's not just in church newsletters that bloopers occur. The mainstream media are awash with such errors. Perhaps we all need to slow down and take the time to actually read over our text before pressing the print button.

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said:
May 04, 2013 at 11:14 AM

haha min

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AdzNZ said:
May 04, 2013 at 2:14 PM

lol my science teacher would have given you an A for that essay Jafa! so would have i ;)

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said:
May 04, 2013 at 4:12 PM

Not mine, AdzNZ, she was seriously uptight. Never gave away any sign that she even noticed. But I am now OCD about spellchecking :(

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May 05, 2013 at 11:03 AM

I sent my husband a tex or so I thought with personal stuff in it and yes I had sent it to my boss at work instead, thank goodess my boss is a female , , she left a message on the answer phone of blowing kisses, am often teased about it

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May 05, 2013 at 11:23 AM

Would love to see media bloopers here - there are plenty of them! Our local paper were running some stories on TeleTrak, some kind of online betting, and must have set their system to automatically change tt to teletrak. Unfortunately one such story included a local councillor whose name was Eliott, so the front page story was all about Ms Elioteletrak.

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said:
May 05, 2013 at 12:19 PM

Baby budgies- going cheep.

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footsteps said:
May 05, 2013 at 12:44 PM

acouple that tickle my fancy , hows your dog yes i do and beware the camel spits and he was cheers footsteps

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said:
May 05, 2013 at 3:53 PM

you want a cockatoo jafa

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said:
May 05, 2013 at 6:29 PM

Sorry Noonee. I don't keep budgies. That was in an ad I saw in a local paper.

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said:
May 05, 2013 at 10:41 PM

Silly me Noonee, I just got the pun. (I'm a bit slow sometimes)

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said:
May 06, 2013 at 10:38 AM

Naughty Noonee.

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said:
May 06, 2013 at 1:19 PM

nah st john i have a cockatoo who at the time being is out there yelling so he is going cheap is ok jaffa gosh had a baby kookaburra in the pine tree clancy doesnt him here

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rathead31 said:
May 07, 2013 at 4:34 PM

Our local pizza shop dropped a flyer in our letter box that proudly and colourfully advertised glutton free bases. Brilliant bit of spell check work!

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gul said:
May 08, 2013 at 1:28 PM

If you don't already know them, Denys Parsons' books of mipsprints found in newspapers, bulletins and other places will keep you entertained for hours. 'Too Funny for Words' is one of them; there are several others, probably no longer in print. As 'holy bloopers' have been requested, here is a sample from Parsons' 'The Best of Shrdlu': The Sunbeam Band of Central Baptist Church, meeting at ten o'clock at the church where transportation will be provided to a picnic which will be hell in the country.

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said:
May 08, 2013 at 4:11 PM

Gul, sounds like some of the picnics I've been to....